The Hung Jury

Law Students' Bill of Rights

2012-01-23T09:36:00.005-05:00

In life it is important to know your rights. Posted below are the newly codified "Law Students' Bill of Rights"

Stories from Law Students Over Winter Break

2012-01-10T12:54:00.001-05:00

Over the break some of the students have had some interesting stories. Posted below are cartoons of things that happened.

Be Warned for Elements!

2011-12-11T17:46:00.001-05:00

In order to understand the ideas behind the philosophers we studied in Elements, I decided to wikipedia Hobbes. However, upon reading the page, it became very clear that someone had edited it. Posted below is what I found on the wikipedia page for Thomas Hobbes.

Getting into Law School

2011-12-07T21:18:00.001-05:00

With how stressful finals may be, it is important to remember what we went through to get to law school. Posted below is what we endured in the LSAT to make it here.

Question Answers

2011-12-07T21:06:00.001-05:00

At some pointeveryone gets called on in law school. Sometimes we look back and wish we hadsaid something a little more shocking. This leads me to a list of a fewresponses that caught the professor off-guard:

1. If someone phonedyou and started saying dirty things, would that be an infliction of emotionalharms?

a. I don’t know. Inormally have to pay 2.99 a minute for that.

b. That’s going to bedetermined at my hearing this week.

2. Why is this casesuch a big issue?

a. Because you havetwenty minutes of class left and nothing more to cover.

b. Because someasshole decided to put in a textbook.

3. That’s very goodlegalese, now can you say the holding in English?

a. No, I’m not thatfar in Rosetta Stone for lawyers.

b. Why shouldI? The judge can’t.

4. How did a caselike this make it all the way to the Supreme Court?

a. The Justices willtake any case in order to avoid the abortion issue.

5. Who would beguilty of an unlawful conversion?

a. A group ofextremist Jehovah’s witnesses.

6. Ms. (namewithheld), in Weaver the defendantwas not held liable for the injuries resulting from an accidental discharge.Why is this a good policy?

a. If not, mostwomen would find their boyfriends liable.

7. In Clinton v. Jones, what would have beenan appropriate defense to Ms. Lewinsky’s comment that the president had a tinypenis?

a. She has a bigmouth?

8. Can anyone thinkof a situation where consent is irrelevant?

a. None that myParole Officer will believe.

9. Why can’t you getin touch with your inner Scalia?

a. Nowdays it’s hard to find a virgin to sacrifice.

The Little Engine that Could... Start Fires

2011-12-05T07:50:00.001-05:00

I was shocked myself! It turns out our text-book author also writes children's books! Here is part of his first book.

Law School Pick Up Lines

2011-12-03T07:42:00.001-05:00

This post is due to a request from those who know me (meaning that if I hear enough complaints I'll take it down). I have bad luck with women in law school, which leads me to some of my greatest misses:

In Civil Procedure

Spencer: Hey Baby, I'm hung like a jury!

Girl: Doesn't that mean where six is needed, you're only three?

In LCOMM

Spencer: You can handle a brief, so why don't you take a look at my full memo?

Girl: Well, the rules are soft, the explanation is short, the application is pathetic, and the conclusion leaves me dissatisfied.

In Elements

Spencer: I think your Lockean bundle could use my Hobbesian stick.

Girl: But what could I do with such a small sovereign?

In Torts

Spencer: I would be negligent if I didn't warn you that this train (gestures towards crotch) fires up everything it passes.

Girl: Don't worry no one could reasonably foresee that train even warming up oatmeal.

In Property

Spencer: Heybaby, if you don't Stop the Beach I won’t be able to move down your erosion line andre-nourish you.

Girl: (I don't remember what she said, but I do remember where she kicked me)

A Story From Law Students Long Past

2011-12-02T17:11:00.000-05:00

It was the first day of law school and Professor Blackstone was warning his class about the final they would be taking.

"There will be no excuse for missing my final. It must be ten pages, hand-written, and completed within the allotted two hours. Nothing except a severe medical condition will change any of that."

From the back of the room, a young man shouted "But sir, what if we are physically unable to write due to an exhaustive, sexual experience?"

Professor Blackstone waited for the snickering to die down and then said, "Then I guess you'll just have to write with your other hand!"

Law Professor Translation Guide

2011-12-02T16:33:00.000-05:00