Question Answers

At some point everyone gets called on in law school. Sometimes we look back and wish we had said something a little more shocking. This leads me to a list of a few responses that caught the professor off-guard:

1. If someone phoned you and started saying dirty things, would that be an infliction of emotional harms?

a. I don’t know. I normally have to pay 2.99 a minute for that.

b. That’s going to be determined at my hearing this week.

2. Why is this case such a big issue?

a. Because you have twenty minutes of class left and nothing more to cover.

b. Because some asshole decided to put in a textbook.

3. That’s very good legalese, now can you say the holding in English?

a. No, I’m not that far in Rosetta Stone for lawyers.

b. Why should I?  The judge can’t.

4. How did a case like this make it all the way to the Supreme Court?

a. The Justices will take any case in order to avoid the abortion issue.

5. Who would be guilty of an unlawful conversion?

a. A group of extremist Jehovah’s witnesses.

6. Ms. ­­­­ ­­­(name withheld), in Weaver the defendant was not held liable for the injuries resulting from an accidental discharge. Why is this a good policy?

a. If not, most women would find their boyfriends liable.

7. In Clinton v. Jones, what would have been an appropriate defense to Ms. Lewinsky’s comment that the president had a tiny penis?

a. She has a big mouth?

8. Can anyone think of a situation where consent is irrelevant?

a. None that my Parole Officer will believe.

9. Why can’t you get in touch with your inner Scalia?

                  a. Now days it’s hard to find a virgin to sacrifice.